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07 May 2008 @ 01:20 pm
the skin you're in  
C and i haven't spoken about what happened between us since a few days after my last post.
a few days after that i slept over again on the couch in P's room, next to C. in the morning we woke up and clumsily felt each other up. i definitely have feelings for her now, but i know M also still has feelings for her, and she has feelings for her in return. it's messy.
C is back with B. they're moving in together again.
i'm not really sure what i think about anything anymore though, i wanna think things are getting better between W and i, i love her yeah, but i don't trust her at all and i haven't even started to work on forgiving her. to be honest i don't think i ever will be able to forgive her.
i want everything to be easy.
i fucking hate them so much for hurting me and fucking with my life.

somebody should come and steal me away and tell me i'm amazing and wonderful and i don't deserve to feel how i do, they'll love me, forever, really, without any fuck ups along the way, protect me, challenge me, stimulate me, fuck me, argue with me, be passionate and mean it all.
but that's never gonna happen.